Welcome

Welcome to SexHungry - where I write my thoughts about human sexuality, Porn, dating, and what it means to be human.

We are all sex hungry, aren't we? Humans are one of the most sexual creatures on the planet. We are the only mammals that have sex face to face. We are the only creatures with the distinct and definite ability and yearning to hold monogamous relationships.

So that means we are more than sex hungry, right? Yes, we must be. Humans are relational creatures. That should be undisputed among thinking people. It is our nature to want friends, significant others, and ultimately partners (mates). It is also in our nature to love, and be loved; to care for others, and want to be cared for; to desire someone sexually, and be sexually desired; to hold hands - symbolizing equal affection and desire for one another.

We all long for that, don't we? Yes, we do! But a new idea has emerged and has been growing since the sexual revolution of the 1960's and 70's. That is the idea of porn - the place where sex is always easy and exciting. In fact, many men and women today would say that it is far easier and more exciting than real sex. Some people even take porn into their sex lives, which is a profound insult to the person who sleeps with the user.

I want to talk about love, and about how sex and love are two different things. That is, sex is only a part of love. There are obviously stages to love. First, there is friendship. Then, there is acceptance of the goods and bads of that friend. Then there is companionship. Then, there is intimacy (which is still not a synonym of sex). Sex is the climax of a loving relationship. It is the highest expression of love that two people can show each other.

Sexual needs can be used positively, poured solely into a single other person. Or, they can be dispersed to be gratified by two people, multiple people, or even a flurry of new people for each new sexual urge. This is what porn offers - a way to gratify a person's sexual needs without really fulfilling their desire to love or be loved. This is why porn always leaves people feeling empty.

The excitement and pleasure of porn is short-lived, but the security, delight and passion of a real, committed, romantic, loving relationship far surpasses the temporary high that porn gives.

I want to talk about love some more, and about hope, freedom, and the limitless human sexual expression within a real, committed, loving relationship.