“Maowage is the bond that bwings us togetha today,” said the priest in the movie The Princess Bride. Marriage, in my opinion, can be defined only as the sacred bond between a man and a woman. In the Bible, it is plain to see that marriage is not only meant to bring man and woman together and complete them, it is also a symbol of the loving relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. Marriage is definitely sacred, but that does not mean that it should be treated as something strictly defined.

For instance, one of the fairly recent phenomena of our age is the degradation of marriage. This is due to many things - like the sexual revolution of the 1960’s and 70’s and the media’s constant devaluing comments - but is in large part due to society’s view that marriage is dull, unexciting, and monotonous. And perhaps it is all those things, but not so much due to Christianity or the Church.

Remarkably, the Bible gives very few, vague references to what marriage should look like. Jesus commands once that husbands should love their wives, and that wives should submit to their husbands. Another instance, Jesus says that husbands should give themselves up for their wives and that wives should give their husbands the leadership of the relationship. The Bible leaves a huge hole where one might expect to find the guidelines for marriage. That leads me to believe that marriage, as long as it fits into the loose frame the Bible gives, can be defined however couples want it to be. Get married at any age that seems right, use birth control, have any kind of consensual sex, have any amount of children you collectively want to raise, adopt children, get tattoos of each other’s names on your backs, elope, get married in space, go to nightclubs together, drink alcoholic beverages, get matching eyebrow rings, stay up late watching movies, text message each other constantly, go on extravagant and romantic dates - all of these things should be left up to each individual married couple to decide as right or wrong for them.

After all, what place in the Bible could a fellow believer point to and say “It says right here that you should not do this, so you shouldn’t do it”?

Marriage is a blank slate, and I believe it is part of the excitement that God wants each married couple to experience to define their marriage however they want. They should not feel that they have to live out their married lives exactly how their parents did or how their married friends do or how their mentors do.

I believe that if everyone had this open-yet-Biblically-minded view of marriage, this special bond would not be held in such low societal regard today.

Welcome

Welcome to SexHungry - where I write my thoughts about human sexuality, Porn, dating, and what it means to be human.

We are all sex hungry, aren't we? Humans are one of the most sexual creatures on the planet. We are the only mammals that have sex face to face. We are the only creatures with the distinct and definite ability and yearning to hold monogamous relationships.

So that means we are more than sex hungry, right? Yes, we must be. Humans are relational creatures. That should be undisputed among thinking people. It is our nature to want friends, significant others, and ultimately partners (mates). It is also in our nature to love, and be loved; to care for others, and want to be cared for; to desire someone sexually, and be sexually desired; to hold hands - symbolizing equal affection and desire for one another.

We all long for that, don't we? Yes, we do! But a new idea has emerged and has been growing since the sexual revolution of the 1960's and 70's. That is the idea of porn - the place where sex is always easy and exciting. In fact, many men and women today would say that it is far easier and more exciting than real sex. Some people even take porn into their sex lives, which is a profound insult to the person who sleeps with the user.

I want to talk about love, and about how sex and love are two different things. That is, sex is only a part of love. There are obviously stages to love. First, there is friendship. Then, there is acceptance of the goods and bads of that friend. Then there is companionship. Then, there is intimacy (which is still not a synonym of sex). Sex is the climax of a loving relationship. It is the highest expression of love that two people can show each other.

Sexual needs can be used positively, poured solely into a single other person. Or, they can be dispersed to be gratified by two people, multiple people, or even a flurry of new people for each new sexual urge. This is what porn offers - a way to gratify a person's sexual needs without really fulfilling their desire to love or be loved. This is why porn always leaves people feeling empty.

The excitement and pleasure of porn is short-lived, but the security, delight and passion of a real, committed, romantic, loving relationship far surpasses the temporary high that porn gives.

I want to talk about love some more, and about hope, freedom, and the limitless human sexual expression within a real, committed, loving relationship.